Feel the feeling but don’t become the emotion. Witness it. Allow it. Release it.– Crystal Andrus
I’m feeling better today. Just like a sickness that needs to be expelled from your body, I think I needed to vomit those thoughts out yesterday. I needed a “poor me” moment. I needed to show that my journey to sobriety isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. Mostly it is, because the benefits and positives far out-weigh the negatives, but every now and then my world becomes very dark.
Self-care is so very important during these times. I have a tendency to always put my family first. I have an extremely strong maternal instinct and a perpetual place on the back burner of my own life. That needs to change. The back burner part, not the maternal instinct.
Sleep. Dedicated workout time each day. Help with the housework. A team approach to our marriage. Healthy meals. Vitamins. Sunshine. Music.
If any of these are missing from my daily life, I feel it. And because my family comes first, I bottle up each one of these voids until my cup is running over. Or, in my case, exploding. I haven’t been the best at understanding the tell-tale signs until it is too late.
I had a few of you reach out yesterday. Come to find out, there is a huge hesitancy to “like” or comment on a post as dreadful as Dream a Little Dream. Haha, I get it. The algorithms at Facebook and Instagram must have also sensed my moodiness – I received advertisements pushing Light Therapy boxes and adaptogens and stress devices.
It’s okay, I’m okay… The cats kept their shenanigans to a minimum last night. I didn’t get awoken all hours of the night by them parkouring off my head; I actually SLEPT. AND, my family even let me sleep in a little more this morning. Marty made a big, yummy breakfast and got the kids to pick up their clutter. I’m going to use this day off to finish reading my latest book, “We Are The Luckiest”, write, go to a yoga class, soak, paint my nails with the little one, and make some Hot Cocoa Bombs (which I have been dying to try), all while listening to a little music.
With a little help from my family, today I am concentrating on ME. Which, in turn, will help me be a better mama/wife/provider for them. 🙂
One thought on “It’s Okay, I’m Okay”
That’s great Cari! I totally believe it’s important for you to focus on yourself and make sure you’re well (mentally/ physically, etc) so that you can take care of your family. And don’t feel bad about having a dark day and writing about it, that’s what it’s all about. Of course it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, for any of us. And it’s actually helpful for the rest of us to know that others have had days too. And what would we normally do with a bad day? Drink!! But without that you have to go through the emotions, and that’s okay. That’s what it’s all about. Hang in there!!
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