I haven’t touched on anything personal over the past couple of months, but am slowly warming up to the idea of writing again.  To be honest, the break was nice.  With the way my mind works, however, having a creative outlet is a must.  I can’t promise weekly blog posts from here on out.  I may decide to channel my creativity into wine bottle candles or new recipes or organizing my closet or creating new essential oil blends.  Maybe I will blog about them… maybe I won’t.  But, I am back.  I wanted to start with a post about a few things I have learned over my two month blog sabbatical:

• You can’t let a situation that you cannot change consume you.  Sounds simple enough, right?  Wrong.  After several weeks of professional and not so professional counseling sessions (thanks, Cleve), I am coming to the conclusion that… What has happened in the past is in the past.  You cannot go back and change it, unless you happen to be the proud owner of a Delorean.  Much to my husband’s dismay, I do not own a Delorean.  So why do I put so much energy and thought into things that I cannot go back and change?  Dumb.  What I have learned is this… If that thing you fret over brings up a fair share of emotional scars, then it is your duty and right to stay as far as fuck away from it as possible.  Also, you have a right to never accept the wrong-doings in your past.  Never.  This was a game changer over the past couple of weeks.  I had thought that I was being a tough guy, putting on a front and “accepting” what had damaged me emotionally.  I never forgave, I just accepted.  This is totally not okay, and probably one of the main reasons that my demons kept resurfacing year after year after year.  No one should ever accept a rape, being cheated on, or anything that takes away something as precious as your innocence or misplaces your trust in someone.  Ever.  But you cannot let it consume you and dictate how you are living your day-to-day life.  Not only is it not fair to you, but it’s not fair to any current / future relationships.
• News are scary…. but exciting.  No, I did not just fail grammatically (although don’t hold that against throughout the rest of this post).  New, plural…. as in new job, new car, soon-to-be new wardrobe.  37 years old and I am starting over my career.  The job interview and ultimate job offer were completely unexpected. I am ecstatic, albeit a bit nervous… I have worn a uniform and been a member of a Profession of Arms for the past 20 years.  My new career is going to come with a whole set of news. And the car shopping and purchasing was stressful, intimidating, and I am at a toss-up whether I hate car salesmen or dentists more. 
• Running in a fitted, floor-length maxi-dress after consuming several pitchers of Cadillac Margaritas, is never a good idea.    I’d like to think that I looked like a graceful mermaid out of water, when I tripped over my feet while sprinting and face planted in the middle of the street.  I know that is not the case, but it is my fantasy.  Even after digging rocks out of my palms and knees, nursing my road rash with lavender essential oil, and doing the walk of shame the next Monday in front of all my co-workers/witnesses, that is my story and I am sticking to it.
• I love Salt and Vinegar Zucchini Chips.  Seriously, I have made, and eaten my weight in Salt and Vinegar Zucchini Chips over the past two months. It is my new obsession.  I am so obsessed, as you can tell, that I have even capitalized the first letter of each word, making ‘salt’, ‘vinegar’, ‘zucchini’ and ‘chips’ proper nouns. Usually, I am pulling so many zucchinis out of my garden that I end up giving them away.  Not this year.  I actually had to buy zucchinis from a store.   The chips are so freaking easy, and totally satiate my need for salty, crunchy, snacky at the end of the day.  Slice zucchinis on a mandolin, toss with a generous helping of salt, and let sit for about 30 minutes to let the zucchini “sweat out”.  After the more or less elapsed time, dump the zucchini sweat and add vinegar of your choice.  I have tried red wine vinegar, apple cider vinegar, rice vinegar, but my absolute favorite is malt vinegar.  Kind of reminds me of those soggy, greasy, delicious fair fries.  Only way healthier and crunchier! Let your zucchini slices marinate in the vinegar for another 30 minutes to an hour, arrange on a dehydrator sheets and let them go for a day and a half.  Delicious!
• No matter how many tutorials my oldest daughter can provide, I will never learn how to do The Whip, nor will one ever be able to watch me Nae Nae.  And don’t get me started on The Stanky Leg.  I cannot even wrap my mind around that one, let alone get the urge to try it.  Not one teeny little bit.
• Just because a person preaches that they are a devote Christian/Catholic doesn’t mean they aren’t a big piece of shit. This paragraph, because of my history explanation, soapbox, and recent interaction with one of these individuals, ended up becoming extremely wordy.  I decided to create a new post out of this subject.  To be continued…  Look for ‘Religion, viCariously speaking’ at a later date.    
• Even though the word ‘vacation’ is in the phrase ‘family vacation’, it doesn’t mean that it will be an actual “vacation” if your title happens to be ‘Mom’.  Last month, my husband and I decided to take our family on one big hoorah before our oldest leaves for college next month.  We (I) did the research, we (I) planned our route, and we (I) ended up renting a condo on the beach in Destin, Florida for the week.  Don’t get me wrong, I would rather be on the beach than anywhere else, but vacationing with kids is a completely different monster than say, vacationing with your spouse or the girlfriends.  Three different kids with bladders on three different internal clocks.  Three different want-to-do lists. Three different mess-makers in a rental that we (I) had to keep picked up and cleaned before we left to avoid an additional cleaning charge.  Don’t even get me started on laundry.  Then, there was meal planning… In order to save a little bit of money (and my sanity), we (I) decided that we would eat breakfast and lunch in the condo or on the beach, and eat dinner out.  That is great and all, but grocery shopping on vacation is just as painful as grocery shopping at home with three kids in tow.  And then there is the beach experience…. ever try relaxing in a lounge chair while reading a book, at the same time you are trying to keep an eye on (a) the three-year old who is too scared to step foot in the water, but has no problem walking up and down the beach talking to complete strangers, or (b) the eight-year old who has no fear of the water, and will boogie board or snorkel his way down the beach without any regards to where anyone else is at, or (c) the 17-year old, who feels that the ‘family vacation’ before she  leaves for college means her vacation to do whatever she pleases, without helping out with the younger siblings?  <sigh>  It was a nice week and we created a ton of memories, but while the rest of the family was sad to see Destin go, I was happily anticipating our return home.