Captain’s Log, Day 164

Hello Blogland, it’s been awhile! The only excuse I can offer: I’ve been busy living life. There have been ups and downs, as there always are. Instead of writing about them, I chose to submerge myself fully and deal, when necessary. A quick summation of the last two months:

My husband and I finally finished The Originals TV series. With only being able to sneak in one of the 92 episodes here and there after the kids had gone to bed, this was a big deal. At least, it feels like a big deal. The Originals characters have been a part of our lives for some time now. I can’t stop going back and playing the last few episodes over and over in my head. I feel like I lost a friend. No more Elijah, no more Nicklaus, no more Marcel. Sigh. My husband wants to continue with where we left off on The Vampire Diaries but Elana makes me want to stab myself in the eyeball. Probably the reason we dropped the series in the middle.

I’ve taken up a strange new obsession with Indy Rock. Yeah, I don’t get it either. Two Feet, Hozier, Mumford & Sons, Lord Huron, Matt Maeson. Marty calls it my “weirdo sad music”. It probably has something to do with The Originals

A few weeks ago, I had outpatient surgery to correct some “female issues” I’ve been having. Oh yeah, and they removed my Fallopian tubes. I get it. I am old enough that having another baby would prove more dangerous than anything. But it sucks. The finality of knowing I’ll never be able to grow another child in my body hit me harder than I thought it was going to. Being pregnant, the good, the bad, and the ugly, were the three most amazing experiences of my life. So, amongst the severe pain from the surgery, I had that little gem to work through. Fun times.

I’m starting to slowly increase my workouts again. Because of my surgery, I wasn’t able to go to yoga, lift, or run for a few weeks. Each time I’m “benched”, I have an overwhelming realization of how important exercise is, not only to my physical health, but also my mental health. You would think this realization would be enough to entice me not to be a lazy slug during my non-down times. But it’s not. Hopefully the warm weather and the fact that swimsuit season is right around the corner will help. I have made it a goal to reach 10,000 steps and tackle 40 flights of stairs each day, though. Baby steps, right?

While I haven’t had the urge to write, I have been flying through books. I’ve read five really great books in quick succession. Some were super intense, but once the book is through, it’s through. It’s strange that I don’t get as involved in what I read as what I watch. Maybe it’s because I can take the time to process what I am reading a little slower? Or maybe I just haven’t come across another Nicklaus. Sigh.

My bees came the weekend before last! I received a call from the post office that my two 3-pound packages of bees were delivered and ready for me to come get them. The hive installation went fairly well. Well, if you call dropping the queen cage into the package and having to dump her out and sift through about 10,000 of her trusty followers “fairly well”? I haven’t had a chance to get back in the boxes to ensure the queens emerged from their cages or flip the entrance reducer to the wider opening or refill their “bee drink”. BUT, there is really great activity out front and I am confident they are both off to a strong start.

The weather has been crazy. I hope Mother Nature makes up her mind… we had all four seasons in one week here in Illinois. It was the strangest thing to see it snowing on our open pool. It’s another reason why I haven’t been able to get in the hive boxes for an inspection. Today was super windy and there is a storm brewing. Wind, thunderstorms, and full moons equals pissy bees. Pissy bees equals Cari gets stung. Cari doesn’t like to get stung. So, the inspection can wait.

Ah – the pool. It is open, but it is cold. Our family hasn’t done our annual pool opening ceremony, which simply consists of each taking turns jumping into the freezing water., knocking the wind out of our lungs. Take a follow on my Instagram Account @flirting_with_sobriety – I’ll be sure to post pictures of that little torturous tradition here soon.

We bought a Jeep. Still trying to wrap my mind around the Jeep cult, er- I mean culture. 😉

My husband and I tackled another project this past weekend. My dad’s popup camper needed a little TLC. This was a mini project, compared to some of the other shit we have done in the past, but we were able to successfully limp Dad’s camper along for another season, with a few cosmetic improvements.

I have a big family reunion, of sorts, planned for this weekend with my brothers, sister, and their families. I’m not going to lie – I am a bit nervous. I haven’t seen my siblings or their families, in over four years, when I went no contact with my mom. My little brother assured me that mom wasn’t going to be hiding in the bushes waiting to jump out at me, but I do anticipate a confrontational reunion with my siblings. Due to my father’s health issues, I have been in contact with my sister more frequently. While we haven’t truly breached the subject, some of her comments suggest that she has not yet attempted to come from a place of understanding on why I went no contact. Fingers crossed this weekend will help soothe some of their hurt, but I can tell you this… I will not apologize for stepping out of that narcissistic, toxic family when I did. I am better for it. My family is better for it. If they can’t understand that, then it is on them.

So, that is about it. My past two months summed up in a wordy blog post. Oh – and I’m sitting at a nice round 164 days sober as well, which is pretty cool.

Until next time…

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