Zucchini Tots: An Experiment

Several months ago, I started this whole Intermittent Fasting (IF) and carb cycling thing.  I’m not even going to attempt to get technical.  The bottom line is this: on two non-consecutive days I Intermittent Fast for 16 hours and cycle through low and high carb days throughout the week.

Really, it isn’t as bad as it sounds.  I loathe dieting.  Need proof?  Check out my Advo Adventures category.  The day before I am set to fast, I make sure we eat dinner early, then nothing but water and black coffee from 6:00pm – 10:00am.  Most of the time I can distract myself with home projects at night and I hit the ground running at work the next morning.  Add a couple of cups of coffee first thing in the morning on a fasted stomach?  I am pretty sure that is exactly what a coffee enema would feel like.  Not that I would know… Or do I?

As far as my carb cycling, I usually will do a low-low-high-low-high type of schedule, but I will alter based on high intensity workouts and, well, life.  I refuse to pass up on popcorn at the movies, birthday cake, and dinner dates with friends/family.  And fuck all that “healthy options” shit while eating out.  What’s the point?

I am not a medical professional, nor have I sought out professional advice on the subject.  All I know is that this lifestyle works for me.

I know, I know… the number on the scale is nothing but a number.  My weight does not define me.  Beauty isn’t measured in pounds.  Enough positive affirmations for you yet?  I get it.  I really do. I have learned to love my body despite my weight. But when I can easily slip into that favorite pair of jeans instead of pouting like a damn three year old when nothing fits right, when I can school my kids in a dance-off without being winded, when I feel strong, not frumpy… those are the things I can get behind.  And Intermittent Fasting and carb cycling both help me to achieve all of that.

So what the fuck does that little rant have to do with ‘Zucchini Tots: An Experiment’?  Well, finding low carb side dishes to serve with dinner on the low carb days is a freaking nightmare.

I am a meal planner.  Busy couple of weeks ahead?  I plan quick meals that are so easy, even a caveman, er-, my husband can do it.  😉  The main dishes for low carb days are easy.  Spinach Artichoke Chicken, Philly Cheesesteak Stuffed Green Peppers, Prosciutto-Wrapped Cod, to name a few.  But there are only so many days my family can handle broccoli and cauliflower (in all its glorious forms).

Enter zucchini tots.  I had about eight cups of shredded zucchini in the freezer from this past summer’s harvest and the hubby just gifted me a snazzy new Air Fryer for Christmas, so I thought I would give them a whirl.

Working in two batches, I squeezed out as much water as I could from the zucchini, added a healthy sprinkling of garlic salt, some almond flour (low-ish carb), minced garlic, egg, and parmesan cheese.  (If you are trying to follow a recipe, that is 4 cups of zucchini, 1/2 tablespoon-ish of garlic salt, 1/2 cup of almond flour, 6 minced garlic cloves, 2 eggs, and 1/2 cup of parmesan cheese.)  I formed about 20 tots from this mixture and air fried them until a beautiful golden brown.

The verdict?

These things are fucking nasty.  They taste like I took a cardboard box, blended it with a bottle of Elmer’s glue, and tossed in a handful of sawdust for good measure.  Seriously.  With the amount of garlic, garlic salt, and parmesan cheese, I figured there would be some sort of a taste to them.  But alas, there is not.  The measurements listed above so you too can make your own delicious zucchini tots?  Disregard.

So what to do with 40ish zucchini-cardboard-sawdust tots?  I could feed them to the chickens.  But what would be the fun in that?  You better believe I am going to serve these nasty little suckers to my family.  For nothing more than the sheer joy of watching them squirm while I put on my whole “but I worked so hard on these” face.  Muwhahaha!!

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6 thoughts on “Zucchini Tots: An Experiment

  1. How funny, you forced your family to eat those? Those tots don’t look very appetizing!!!! But at least you tried. What do you think of your air fryer? My kids are bodybuilders and they are always talking about air fryers!!

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    1. The tots went over like lead balloon, lol. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.

      I was hesitant about the Air Fryer at first, but I really like it. I made the kids French fries and they said they liked homemade better than what we can get out. Score!! The recipe book that came with it shows that you can do so much more than fries, but I haven’t ventured down that path yet.

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  2. Oh my goodness, you’re freaking hilarious. I am not kidding. Girrrrrlfrienddddd I needed that laugh right about now! Seriously though, I have been such a lazy hack last year I wrote this whole blog post about how I was going to lose like- 50 lbs. and was on a crusade- I was all jazzed up! The result? Um, I deleted the post before I could post it and pretty much stayed in bed with the my ROKU on the wall at my feet and gain 30 lbs. Ugh. I’m so mad at myself! I’m a sugar junkie! Bags of Fruit Chewies (Tootsie Roll chewies) are my downfall, dude. They really are. See, going out on Photoshoots keeps me active and fit and I pretty much haven’t picked up my camera in half a year. But, thanks to my friend (and B&W photographer named Gavin) – I think I’ve got my mojo back- or, getting it back- and combined with your post here, can feel the rest of my mojo creeping in. In short, I’m totally going to give your M.O. a try. I was raised a Pentecostal and so fasting used to be a way of life for me. I can go a good hot minute without eating. (I just had chosen not to.) But it’s funny. Once you’ve trained your body (and mind) to not eat for hours on end, you really do develop the ability to shut it off- like a switch. I’m inspired again to get back on the horse, so thanks for that. 😉 I’m seriously going to give this a try. After all, you’re the reason I hopped on the poo (juice) train. 🙂 I’m missed your writing. x

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    1. You and I both, girl… I don’t know how many blog posts I’ve written with goals I want to shout out to the world… only for me to delete them before I am held liable/responsible, lol. Eh, it is what it is. We all have to listen to our bodies and be mentally ready to make a change. Maybe you weren’t ready? BUT – yay for getting your mojo back! I think that with the longer days, it is going to get easier and easier to venture back outside. At least it will be for me. Not today, though. Today was freaking freezing, Mr. Bigglesworth. Make sure you read up on the Intermittent Fasting before you take a nose dive into it. But, yes – once you make it past that “oh shit, my stomach is eating itself from the inside” phase it is isn’t that bad. I am glad I could be of a little inspiration… just STAY AWAY FROM ZUCCHINI TOTS!!! 😉

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      1. Well you have to consider that I was raised Pentecostal- and poor. What does that mean? When I wasn’t starving from being poor (accidentally) I was starving from fasting (on purpose). I’m able to shut it down mentally and not suffer hunger pains. It’s really weird- I fasted for about 3 years straight during a period in my life in which I almost married a preacher (bullet dodged) but he’d convinced me that fasting should be a way of life, and so, instead of having sex and hanging out and watching movies and doing stuff that normal people do while dating, we fasted (and fasted…) and walked a lot at the park while we fasted (which made starving super fun!) and so I developed an insane talent for starving for 12 hours each day from 6:a.m. to 6: p.m. But that was like 6 years (and 40 lbs.) ago. It’s sugar. I’m hideously addicted to sugar….ugh. I think if I could just cut that down significantly (if not out, altogether) I’d stand half a chance. But like I said, you’ve inspired me to jump back on track. And your (intermittent) fasting sounds a helluva lot funner than mine. It’s a start. 😉

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