A Game of Roofies

Let’s play a game… I will give you several clues, and you tell me who slipped the girl the date rape drug.  Sounds fun, huh?

**Clue #1 – The girl went out to grab some beers, with her male cousin and his girlfriend.**

**Clue #2 – The three went to a very respectable bar, known to be frequented by law enforcement and firefighter personnel.**

**Clue #3 – The girl drank one bottle of beer, her normal drink of choice, and then took a house shot poured by a female bartender.**

**Clue #4 – The three then left the first bar and walked to another bar a few blocks down.  This bar happened to be where one of the girl’s best friends, who is male, was bartending.**

**Clue #5 – The girl, again, ordered a bottle of beer, receiving it directly from her friend.**

**Clue #6 – The bar was packed.  It was St. Patrick’s Day, and everyone was decked out in green attire.  An amateur “camera crew” was there to document the night’s events.**

….. This is where the night gets fuzzy for the girl…..

**Clue #7 – The girl remembers seeing  a boyfriend from high school in the middle of the bar.  Although the break-up had ended bad for the two, the girl just had to give him a hug.  The girl tried explaining how sorry she was for how she acted so long ago, but the words were slurred and came out a jumbled mess.  The next thing the girl knew, she was on the floor with the ex-boyfriend standing over her.  She remembered how mean but silly he looked in his black leather jacket.**

**Clue #8 – The girl remembers seeing four boys from school that were two years her senior sitting at the bar.  They laughed together and offered her a beer.  The girl accepted; this was her third beer of the night.  The boys whispered and laughed again.  She remembered how inadequate she felt in high school and how being around these boys brought up those same feelings.  She stumbled away.**

**Clue #9 – The girl faintly remembers her cousin saying that he and his girlfriend were going home.**

**Clue #10 – The girl remembers one of the guys from the “camera crew” asking her to show him her tits.  He said that they were compiling the “best tits in the place” portfolio, and she would totally be famous.  The girl remembers thinking how horrible her “tits” were, since giving birth and breastfeeding her daughter.  She stumbled away.**

**Clue #11 – The girl has no memory of the evening after this point.  Her male bartender friend found the girl in the men’s restroom, locked in the stall, sprawled out on the floor, choking on her own vomit.  While he was able to walk the girl out of the bar, drive her to his house, clean her up, and ensure she had a safe place to sleep, the girl has no recollection of this.**

Can you figure it out?

Only… this isn’t a game.  I was that girl.  Before you ask, no, there was no penetration.  Luckily for me, whomever did this was either scared off before committing the unthinkable, or they simply slipped me a roofy “for fun”.

The thing is, I think about this night… constantly.

I woke up the next morning in a haze that I had never experienced before.  My mind was clouded, I couldn’t remember most of the details of the night before.  I felt like my internal organs had  been individually pulled out, ran over by a Mack truck, and shoved back into my body.  I puked and shat for 5 days straight.  I honestly thought I was dying.

But I didn’t do anything about it.  I didn’t go to the hospital, I didn’t go to the police.  I didn’t do shit about it, and now, 15+ years later it still haunts me what some fucking creep could have done to me or could still be doing to another woman: my daughter, my sister, my mother, my friend. 

Guys, if you ever feel it necessary to slip a woman or man a roofy, a date rape drug to “get what you want”, check your fucking self into the nearest psych ward.  Better yet, take the longest, sharpest blade out of your kitchen drawer and slice your penis right off.  It doesn’t deserve this life.

Watch your drinks, people.  I mean, really watch them.  I have gone over and over in my mind who could have done something like this to me, so completely despicable, so inhuman.  It happened too long ago to point the finger of blame at anyone but myself.

If this has happened to you, male or female…. I am truly sorry, and my heart breaks for what you are going through.  Speaking from experience, however, report it.  Go now.  Do not pass GO, do not collect $200.  If in fact, you were raped, go directly to the hospital, the police station, report it.

Getting these creeps and date rape drugs off the street is THE most important thing. My husband says I am brave for sharing my experience with you.  My thought?  If I could prevent just one person from being victimized, then the story is well worth sharing.

~Cari~

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10 thoughts on “A Game of Roofies

  1. Yes, I, your mother, had one slipped to me at a wedding reception no less. I drank 2 or 3 little punch cup sized glasses of wine over the course of the whole evening, but one of those glasses the bartender left and came back with from the back…rhis was about 16 years ago. Luckily I was with my future husband who realized I was either really drunk or something was wrong and got me out of there. I have never been so sick, and hugged the toilet for most the night. Seriously, why would someone do that, no less to a (then) 40+ woman there with her date…for laughs? Not funny, not cool, should be criminal. Yes, women, watch your drinks, watch your friends drinks, and if you ever think youve been slipped something go to an emergency room! Then report it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t want to click like because I think it’s disgusting that this happened to you at all. But I appreciate your willingness to share. And I think you’re husband is right, it is a brave thing to write this post. Not many people would.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I only wish that someone would have urged me to report what happened on that night, so many years ago. Here’s to hoping that my post can possibly provide that advice to someone faced with the same. Thanks for reading/commenting. I truly appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks Cari!

    Report, report, report! Your message is loud and clear and we will continue to spread it.
    Apart from the police, there are agencies that offer counselling after sexual assault. They (I was one of the volunteer for 9 years) will perceive it as it is: A crime and an assault.

    Elisabeth

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Elisabeth. I guess back then, I didn’t perceive the situation as me being victimized. But you are exactly right: it was a crime and an assault, physical confrontation or not. Thank you so very much for reading/commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi Cari, and there is something else that I tell all women I work with “never ever leave a friend behind when you go out with a bunch”. You go together and you leave together.
        Hugs,
        E

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That is something that I had to learn the hard way. Thinking back, my “bar scene” nights came to a screeching halt about that time… Especially if the place is packed, there are too many anxious thoughts to even have fun anymore. No thank you. This is something that I preach to my friends and daughter though, never leave your “wingman” behind (Air Force terminology coming out).
        Thank you so much for your comments!

        Liked by 1 person

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