This is “Spirit Week” at Kenzie’s Daycare.  Why in the hell a daycare needs spirit, I don’t know.  I am fairly certain that the six-month olds don’t give a shit if their room’s mismatched outfits are better than the toddler room’s mismatched outfits.

It’s bad enough they send home these freaking “homework assignments” once a month.  It’s not like I have anything better to do with my time, so why the hell not!?  Come on, Kenz… let’s build a diorama on the circle of life of a frog.  What’s that?  You don’t know what the circle of life is?  You are three, and you gosh-darn better learn, pretty gosh-darn quick!  Forget learning how to pronounce your ‘R’s or ‘L’s’.  That will come in time. Oh, and we can’t forget to send in a picture of the family.  Why don’t we have a picture of the family to send in, you ask?  Because it’s hard enough even getting everyone in the same room, actually looking at the camera, and Jameson not making some creepy face, let alone printing off a copy in this completely digital world we live in.  Tell you what.  I will take mug shots of each member of our family, email them to your room assistant, and she can arrange a family photo for us.  Okay?  Work for you?   

But, like every parent struggling to fit into the norm, and ensuring their kid isn’t the only one not dressed up as a superhero on “Superhero Day”  (Who comes up with this shit?!)  … I will beg and plead with my cranky three-year old, at 6:00 in the morning, to accommodate the “crazy hair day”.  I did say that my three-year old is not a morning person, right?

I had to start with Meow to set the mood. Kenzie wanted crazy braids and decided that Meow should have crazy braids too.  I tried explaining to Kenz that Meow’s hair was too  matted short.  Here come the waterworks.  Okay, okay… I grabbed that little pink cat, and “braided his hair”.

Next, on to the Three-Year Old Beast… How many braids to you want, Sweetie?  One.  One?  That’s it?  That isn’t very crazy, MacKenzie.  How about two braids, in pigtails?  <waterworks again>  Okay, okay… Um, how about three braids, that we braid together into one?  Yeah?  This works for you?   There was a lot of squirming, and braiding hair hasn’t really ever been my thing, but here was the final outcome:

Poor kid looks like she is balding, but was out the door with dry eyes, in enough time not to cause me to have to take any more leave.  I’ll take it!  Now… How am I going to persuade her tomorrow morning that not only can she not wear her daily Lightning McQueen shirt, but she has to wear either all orange or all blue so the sadistic Daycare Director can get a picture of all of “her kids” standing in a rainbow pattern.  Blue just happens to be MacKenzie’s favorite color, so I think we’ve got this covered, but a three-year old’s mood at 6:00 in the morning can do a 180 like Illinois weather (if you wait five minutes, it will change).   But this lady’s idea of getting several hundred six-week to five-year olds standing in a rainbow pattern??

Muwhahahahaha.  Good luck, lady.  Good luck.  Karma is a bitch!